Trusting someone who is not trustworthy is bad for your survival. Social bonds help mammals protect their young from predators, and natural selection built a brain that rewards us with a good feeling when we strengthen those bonds. Reptiles cannot stand the company of other reptiles, so it’s not surprising that they only release oxytocin during sex. Mammals stick with a herd because they inherited a brain that releases oxytocin when they do. You may think it’s cocky or risky or lame, but your serotonin will suffer if you don’t. You can build the habit of focusing on your wins. If you focus on your losses you will depress your serotonin, even if you’re a rock star or a CEO. Focus on that instead of scanning for disrespect. People are probably respecting you behind your back right now. Instead, you can develop your belief in your own worth. The solution is not to dismiss your natural urge for status, because you need the serotonin. Sometimes people seek it in ways that undermine their long-term well-being.
Happy habits how to#
The respect you got in your youth paved neural pathways that tell your brain how to get respect today. Your brain seeks more of that feeling by repeating behaviors that triggered it in your past. As much as you may dislike this, you enjoy the good feeling of serotonin when you feel respected by others.
This brain we’ve inherited rewards social dominance because that promotes your genes in the state of nature. Monkeys try to one-up each other because it stimulates their serotonin.
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